The Race in On!

Well we are now neck deep in paperwork as we pursue an adoption of a child from China! It doesn't give me much time to get excited yet, but that time will come during the waiting period. I am so thankful that Aaron is still taking a good nap because that has become my time of focused attention each day to the paper chase. It is definitely a marathon!

Aaron is doing well. I'm getting the feeling that we might be ready to start potty training. We've been "practicing" and so one day I asked him when he was going to put ALL his pee pees in the potty and he told me when he turns 3 on December 6th. Alright, buddy, I'm holding you to that!

My mind has been starting also to get some ideas going for Christmas, so the other day....

Me: Aaron what present should we get for Daddy?

Aaron: (long serious pause) A backhoe!

Hmm.....I wonder what Aaron wants for Christmas?

Puzzles

One of Aaron's passions is puzzles. He loves them and will even do them upside down so you can't see the picture. I'm thinking that we have a little engineer on our hands here.

Our meeting on Friday went really well. We feel very comfortable with America World Adoptions and also have several friends who have used them and love them. The next big step is to choose the country from which we will be adopting. Looking at just the travel requirements that each country mandates, we have narrowed it down to Ethiopia or China. The other countries require us to be out of the country for longer than we can do. Please pray that the Lord would make it clear to both Craig's heart and mine what direction He would have us pursue.

Practice

Ummm....so evidently we need to practice a little more with the use of the utensils, but it was Chef Boyardee spaghetti!

Craig and I are very excited as tomorrow we take our first official step toward a dream that God placed in both of our hearts before we were even married. We will be meeting with an adoption agency! It is such a big decision that we want to be able to sit down with a representative to better determine what might be a good fit for our family. Please keep us in your prayers as we start this new journey!

Hearing Jesus Speak

I recently read something that really resonated with me as I think about Zachary's life. This excerpt is from "Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow" by Nancy Guthrie.

What we really are in search of is not an explanation but sense of meaning. We want to know that there is some meaning and purpose in our losses-that they are not random or worthless. We want to see the ways God is using our loss for good.

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1. Looking back at Zach’s life, I need to know that there was a purpose in his life. I need to know that he made a difference. I am coming to realize that I cannot sit here hoping that Zach impacted someone else’s life. I can only control me. So what am I going to do with the lessons the Lord taught me through Zach’s life? I pray as Moses did, Lord give permanence to the work of my hands.

Prayers

Lord, help me to be faithful to pray for others, as others have faithfully prayed for us. Lord, help me want to want to pray. It's ugly to even admit that so often I have "better things to do". You know that "To Do" list is always waiting. Anything and everything grabs (rips) my attention away from spending time in communication with you. Forgive me, Lord, and help, please.

Prayer for Aaron

I sometimes struggle with the idea of fairness. I mean, Aaron is supposed to be my child that doesn't need to go to the doctor. Well, Aaron has been having some eye issues since this winter. His eyes will wander outward. We have been doing some eye exercises with him as recommended by his ophthalmologist, and so far this issue is not affecting his vision. We just had an appointment today, and the doctor was encouraged that it hasn't gotten any worse. But his experience tells us that it will be getting worse, even possibly losing vision in one eye completely! Please pray! I feel a motherly despair, except for the Hope that I need to remember. Lord, I feel you are my only hope to rescue Aaron's eye sight.

Confused

Would you think less of me if I told you that I don't cry as much as I think I should? I am confused about my own emotions. God seems to have wired me to be one who likes to be inside-the-box, a rule follower. So when my emotions don't do what I (and everyone else) think they should, I don't like it.

It is hard even to figure out what to blog about. All my other posts would springboard off my daily activities with Zachary...

Before Craig and I started having kids, our family plan was to have a couple of kids biologically and then some through adoption. At this point the plan to adopt has not changed, so every now and then I will go online and do some adoption research in order to start narrowing down the big topic that is adoption. It is very weird to think that my future son or daughter may already have taken their first breath. (Keep them safe, O Lord!)

Praise the Lord that He saw fit to adopt me into His family! Through the Bible, I know that Heaven is a free gift, and there is nothing I can do to earn or deserve it. Just like any children that the Lord may bring into our family through adoption, there is nothing that they can do to make their "chances" any better. God chose me, and for that I will be forever grateful.