The only procedure that we have decided to have Zach go through is having a g-tube put in. There are several reasons that we are doing this, but as a mom, the reason that I am most excited about is to be able to look at his face without tubes and tape! We have an appointment with a pediatric surgeon this Wednesday afternoon to discuss the g-tube placement. Feeding Zach has definitely been more challenging than Aaron. With Aaron, I nursed, so my body would just produce what Aaron needed. Zachary is unable to suck and swallow like he needs to, and ng tubes were never meant to be a long-term solution. The tape either tears his face up or won't stick...so frustrating!
It is hard as a mother to place an ng tube when clearly Zach does not like or understand it, but I do it because it is what he needs. What does God see when we are hurting? Does God see us in the same way? Does it hurt Him when we hurt? Lord, help me trust that your perspective is perfect. Help me say with Hagar, "You are a God who sees and looks after me." (Genesis 16:13)
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