For some reason in my life I've always thought that those big life moments (getting married, becoming a mom, losing my child) would somehow foundationally change me in some way. As if I will become a new person. But each time as I look back after each of these events have happened I realize I am the same person. There was no lightening bolt of wisdom that has been infused into me. I still struggle with those day to day issues.
As so many of you are praying for us during this time, I want you to know that your prayers are being answered. God has blessed me with so much faith and with His peace that passes all understanding. Of course, I miss Zach but there is no despair. I want to hold him again, but I know who is holding him better than I ever could. I know that Zach is better now than he has ever been.
I have been thinking about my ultimate goals for my children. If I were to rank them from most important to least...
1. Spend forever with the One who loves him with a perfect love.
2. To do whatever it takes to accomplish #1.
3. Everything else.
It is hard for me to be too sad knowing that Zach has already achieved my ultimate goal for him. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? (Mark 8:36) To God be the glory for Zach' life because if God's doesn't get the glory than I can make no sense of all of this.
What about you? Do you know for certain that if you were to die today that you would be spending forever with the One who loves you with a perfect love? You can.
Your first paragraph made me think of the line in the Mercy Me song "Bring the Rain," where he says "...can circumstance possibly change who I forever am in You?"
ReplyDeleteSo blessed to be you friend, and to be able to point people to you to say, "see, that's how big my God is." You are bringing Him such glory in your walk...
Love you!!!!
ReplyDeleteWords of wisdom!
Big hugs!