Sleepy boy

Had some rough days this week. Zach has been screaming, crying whenever he was awake, so we started him on scheduled Morphine and Diaspam. After playing with the dosing and fighting with constipation, we now have a boy that can be awake and not be in pain. We are not sure what is causing it,whether it was some of his other meds or one of his several issues. During this time, we are reminded again of how short our time with Zachary will be.

He is sleeping peacefully next to me now. As we live in the sad expectation of his passing one day, my mind wanders to what our pastor shared in church about living in joyful expectation of Christ's return. Let me tell you, in my position, wanting Christ to return is all selfish. I get excited just considering going to our heavenly home with Zachary, rather than having him beat me there. I mean, parents are suppose to out live their children, but I guess even Eve had to experience the pain of losing a child.